I've come to the realization that as parents we believe we are flying blind where technology and our children are concerned. Often I have friends who hand their 10 year old an iPhone and then wonder why at age 13 their child no longer talks to them. Or, worse, their 13 year old is so addicted to their device that they have to sleep with it at night.
Remember when our children were little and they wanted to go to the park? I do. I would tell them that they should go to the park but be careful and not talk to strangers. Oh, and be back before dark. Um, no, that is not what happened. When my children were little, I walked them to the park and the whole way we talked as we went. When we came to a cross walk, I took their little hand and said, "Ok, do you see any cars. Let's look to the left, and now to right. Ok, let's go." We would walk across together and not just the first time we crossed a street. We held hands for years as we crossed the street. Once we got to the park, I did not leave them to fend for themselves. I stayed at the park to monitor their play and ensure they played nicely with others. If they treated the playground equipment with disrespect or threw the wood chips, I would stop them and tell them not to do that. I often played with them to model and to just have fun. Then we would walk home together with our hands held tight a making sure to look both ways before crossing the street. When I would hear horror stories of children being abducted from playgrounds, I was extremely disheartened but I did not have the local park locked up. Nor, did I stop taking my children to the park. I just continued my efforts, maybe a bit more diligently, to monitor my children because I knew they needed me to watch over them and they were too young to watch themselves.
Why do we treat technology tools differently than walking them to the park? We showed our kids how to safely walk across the street, how to play nicely with others, respect the equipment and each other. Seems pretty similar to technology use.
I often hear friends say they just can't keep up. I can empathize with that since technology changes quickly. Does that mean our children don't deserve to learn how to navigate the world of the internet that is available everywhere? A cell phone has more access to the internet than your laptop, yet, we too often hand young preteens a device and expect them to just "know" how to be safe. When was the last time you dropped off a 10 year old by himself at the State Fair to spend time with 100,000 strangers and said, "Have fun. Be safe. Stay out of trouble. Pick you up in 8 hours." Hopefully, never. Yet, we hand them devices that can be much more precarious.
Keep in mind. I love technology. I think technology is fantastic and an extremely beneficial tool for people to use if done appropriately. I also think driving a car is wonderful, but I did not just hand my 16 year old the keys to the car. She went to class at 15 for drivers' education Then we spent well over 40 hours driving in all types of conditions. We also made her wait until she was almost 17 before letting her get her license which allowed her to drive by herself. If she goes anywhere outside of school, tutoring, or a friends' home, she shares her location on her phone with me so I know she is safe. And, if, God forbid, something were to happen, I would know exactly where she was so I could help her.
We must find a balance. A balance between what we already KNOW as parents and the "unknown" world of technology. We can not see technology as , "the devil" and we can't see it as something benign either. We must respect it and value it as a fantastic tool that we ALL must know how to use ethically before we let our kids "cross the streets by themselves."
My hope is that I can begin to help parents and teachers through this blog. To give us a place for sharing and learning ways to navigate a bit better. I know I often mess up and have to relearn with my children. As my father always tells me, "You kids were not born with instructions tattooed on your butt. Parents make mistakes." Let's learn together and hopefully help each other out in this journey, because, I know I can't do it alone.
